1+1+1 is 5!

     I love it when I only manage to get an hour or two into my day before being slapped in the face with absolute proof that this country is going to hell! This morning I stopped at a fast food restaurant to get some breakfast. To name it would be pointless as I consider them all to be equally bad. After surveying their menu, I ordered three items which, as it happened, were all 99 cents. The pimply faced young cashier looked up at me and said, "That will be $5.53."

      With my mind already dancing with thoughts of sausagy, breakfast goodness, I wasn't a hundred percent sure I had heard him correctly, and responded, "No... I only ordered three things and they were all a dollar."

      He looked down at the register in front of him, hit some buttons, looked at it some more, and announced, "No sir, that's right, it's $5.53."

       I mustered a chuckle and said, "No, I got three things, they were 99 cents each, so that should be three bucks and some change for tax."

      "Well," he responded incredulously, "the computer says it's $5.53."

      Not certain whether to laugh or be angry, I pointed at the menu and said as kindly as I could, "Forget about the computer and just use your brain. Everything I ordered was a dollar, and one plus one plus one is three! How did we get to five dollars and change?"

     The cashier, seemingly both perplexed and annoyed, replied, "Look, I don't know buddy, the computer says it's $5.53."

      Great, he's resolute in his ignorance, and now we've moved from sir, to buddy! At this point I looked around to see if there were any other audience members in this theater of the absurd, and sadly, or perhaps thankfully, there were none. Well, at least I wasn't holding anybody else up!

      Having clearly reached the limits of this young man's intellect, I asked to speak to the manager. The boy humphed and went to get him. Shortly, a slightly older and slightly better dressed young man appeared and asked what was the matter. I explained that I had ordered three items, that those items were each 99 cents, but that I was being charged five dollars and change for my purchase. "Hmmmm....." he replied. Then he looked at the register, pushed some buttons, looked at the register again and said, "Nope, the computer says it's $5.53."

      I am certain that the dumbfounded look that spread across my face was truly priceless to anyone watching. In the end it took almost another five minutes before light dawned upon marble head and I got my breakfast for the right price. Now I know not everybody is a math genius, but this is simple arithmetic, and if this kid can't add to three, how is ever going to go any further than being a cashier at a fast food restaurant? Oh wait... I guess he could be the manager! If this is truly the best our educational system can do, we're screwed.